Can I please live with my boyfriend?

My dad looked at me as if I declared that I am moving to Pakistan. He looked shocked, aghast, confused and started cursing English education, media, society, government, Catholic Church, Hindu community and basically every institution on the planet for corrupting my mind. My favourite show Sex and the City was not spared either. That was quite funny and surprising considering that he is foreign educated and a self proclaimed “liberal parent”.

I didn’t expect him such an extreme reaction from him considering that he always wanted me to be independent and thus supported my decision to move out after college and even helped me find an apartment! Which genius said that women are complicated? Phew! On the other hand my simple desi college educated mom didn’t say word. We both waited for my dad to calm down from his hissy fit and then discuss the issue like mature adults. What’s the issue? I had just told my parents that I am going to start living with my boyfriend of one year.

He did calm down. After a week to be precise. All that time he kept saying how it is “not right” and “wrong”. My mother on the other hand supported my decision proving once again that women are more mature. Getting into a little bit of detail, me and my guy have been together for a while and were considering marriage in the future. He visited my parent’s house quite often for family get together and was well liked (Even by my father). I knew his parents and chatted with over the phone quite regularly (They live in Delhi). Both the families knew that we are not fooling around.

But for me marriage is a serious step and I wanted to be sure.
Everytime I would read the papers or go on the web stories of divorce, cheating, secret identities, abuse and violence from couples would fill my head. Now for a girl who is considering a future with her man, it’s not good data. What if I find out that he is a coke addict after marriage? (It’s a long shot but still possible!) What if he is a complete slob who refuses to help with the household work? What if he is secretly addicted to porn? I was driving myself crazy with the “what if”. I needed to know. Was he actually perfect or am I just delusional?

After much thinking, preparation and prayers I moved into his apartment. I started experiencing the other side of a relationship. The real side. The side where we have to keep the apartment clean make sure the bills get paid, buy groceries, fight over who gets the remote, have two meals and still try not to drive each other crazy. That was a year ago. The good part is that he is NOT coke addict and NOT addicted to porn either and actually helps with the cooking and cleaning. On the downside, like most men he is slob and in reminiscence of his singlehood days still tries to keep the messy bachelor pad look intact. As for me, no more impulsive late night drives with friends or partying till 5am. But all my doubts are gone. I do want to marry him. As for my father, after not speaking to me for months he calmed down and is once again self proclaimed “liberal parent”.


Are you considering moving in with your guy? Even though it’s a joy ride, remember some facts:

Living together is a lot of hard work and every responsibility such as, who will pay for what needs to be discussed in detail.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. No matter what, some habits of his will ALWAYS annoy you. No need to bring down the whole house for that. Just ignore it.
Don’t expect candle night dinners every night. It’s all about having an intimate rather than romantic time.
Even though it’s an easy option, try not to lie to your parents about this. They might yell and shout but at the end of the day they want to see you happy.