Why do you travel alone beta?

“Where are you going”? The guy seated next to me asked.

“Bijapur”. I lied and quickly went back to adjusting my seat and pretending to sleep.

“Are you married” He asked again eagerly.

“Yes”. I lied again while twisting and turning uncomfortably in my seat.

“Then why are you traveling alone”? He asked curiously.

God! Can’t he just leave me alone! Can’t he see that I am trying to sleep? Or at least trying to fake it.

“Well, I am married”! I replied impatiently. And just to make sure he doesn’t bore me with his questions, I further added “I am going to meet my in-laws. They are coming with my husband to pick me up at the bus station”.

There! That should silence the moron.
I was right. He did shut up after the last killer line. If I knew that by calling me married would ward off such pests, I would have worn a mangalsutra from the start. And sindoor just for the effect.

I smiled to myself after I heard the fellow next to me snoring and I imagined myself in Hampi.

Such comments are not very unusual. Especially for a girl when she is travelling alone. I think they arise more out of curiosity of seeing a girl on her own without a husband or a father than any malicious reason. Most of the times. . Sometimes they can come from curious aunties and uncles who are usually dumbfounded to see a girl traveling all by herself. So I get questions like “Where is your family”? “Where is your husband”? “Why do you travel alone beta”?

Big deal. I am a single woman and I travel alone. Do I hear you ask a serious “Why”? Well for starters because, I love to travel. So whenever I get the chance, I take off. Don’t get me wrong here. My reason behind traveling solo is not some pseudo cool reason like “I am a lone wolf and I tread my own path” or something in that context. It’s a simple matter of convenience. My friends are from a different field and somehow our holiday schedules never match so whenever I get free I make my own plans, back my backpack and off I go.

The first time I told my mother that I was going to take a vacation alone she looked so hurt, like I had announced that was a lesbian and marrying my girlfriend in a beach wedding.

“But why beta? Where are your friends”? She asked me desperately.
“They are all busy mum”. I replied ready to fight my case.
“So wait for them to get free”. She said with a stern face.

Well, you get the hint of where this conversation is heading right. She tried her best to make it sound like the worst decision f my life while saying things like “what will people think”, “how are you going to manage” and the most effective line which is used by parents, friends, boyfriends and every other human who will try and dissuade you “It is not safe”.

It didn’t work. I did take my first solo vacation to Goa and I loved it.

But it’s not safe…they say?
In the matters of safety, I won’t totally disagree with skeptics. Sometimes it does get a little unsafe. But if you are not planning to dress in a short skirt with a halter top and strut into the local pub at night for drink you should be fine. Then you should not be allowed to travel alone anyways. Period. It all about knowing where you are going and sticking to their rules.
Example: Unless you are in Goa, roaming around in shorts in any city or state is a bad idea. Dress conservatively no matter where you are. No shorts, skirts, spaghetti tops, low neck dresses or blouse. Simply put, the duller you are dressed, the better it is!

No matter in which city one is, the occasional whistling and hooting is common. They are just verbal provocation by bored locals. So don’t get agitated and no need to think of a comeback. Just ignore it and move on. Feminism can wait.

One can understand that when you are out alone one might tend to get a bit lonely and restless. But remember, even if you are bored to death and counting the number of leaves on the tree, do not to get too friendly with the locals or other fellow travelers. Even if it is completely harmless, it can be misread, especially when you are a women. Just carry a good book and some music. Entertaining and harmless.

Always keep an eye out for single female travelers (who are mostly foreigners) and families. Just in case of any trouble, join them.

Carry a cheap ring and wear it in your wedding ring finger and if asked then say that you are married. Carry a picture of your friend and how it off as your husband’s photo. It helps to keep off unwanted male attention.

Other factors that one should keep in mind are pretty much common sense. Don’t step out alone at night, trust your instincts, constantly keep in touch with family members, don’t get drunk, and don’t go to a bar. If you wanted nightlife then you should had just stayed back in Mumbai.

Planning…but how?
When I decide to visit a new place, I don’t just take off with an hour’s planning. I plan my trip carefully because I will be traveling alone. That includes way of transportation, budget, and places to stay.

Transportation: I know! I know, we all would like to travel by flight and get whisked away by a cab from the airport, but if your budget is…ahem…a little tight then trains or buses are perfect substitution. Only they take longer and the back gets a little stiff. Small sacrifice right?



Budget: Have a clear idea about how much you can spend. That invariably depends upon how many days you are planning to stay. My experience says that 4-5 days in a city is more than enough. It gives you plenty of time to do some sightseeing and also soak in the local culture.

Places to stay: This is most crucial part. Since you are alone, spend a little more and pick a not so economical hotel. It should not be shady or have dark alleys and corridors.

Vanity case and more?
When you are out on your traveling, staying alert is one key aspect. So travel as light as you can. That includes…I am just going to say it…no make-up, hair straighter, tongs, and sprays! They will just add unnecessary bulk and remember you will have to haul your own luggage. Instead, invest in these crucial travel necessitates:

A backpack: The reason I am saying a backpack and not a suitcase is because they are easier to handle, more flexible and have more space and compartments than a suitcase.

A map: A detailed map which shows the roads, places to see is a boon, trusts me!

A Lonely Planet Guide: God bless the day this guide hit the book stores! This book is your bible whiles you are traveling. From routes, ways of transportation, hotel names, phone numbers, emergency numbers, places to see, places to eat at, anything and everything are in these pages.

There are some people who can never travel alone because they can never imagine been all by them self. No matter what, they need some company always. But if you the type who like your own company then traveling solo is great fun. You get to wake up when you want to, decide you own day, pamper yourself, rely on yourself and not to forget…build some self confidence. So go start packing!